present day ( back to the future )

I have finally imputed all my previous writings into this blog and I am now recording in real time , and so now that I have caught up the reality of my goal to become a Millionaire in just one year is quite daunting . Having to go back over my past entries to bring the blog up to date gave Me a chance to see a how I was feeling when I wrote them. Its been 3 months since I had my epiphany 9 months are left to achieve my goal. Its 11.45p Sunday evening Lisa and I have just finished watching the A M A's and after opening shift at work today it was nice to sit and watch an award show relating to the business I love, music. The group that I played bass for received 3 A M A's and a Grammy 17 years ago I miss that world Its even been painful to see such shows for me , for years Rob P and I would try to watch them after our fall from grace but It would just frustrate us too much. Poor Rob never really recovered from this misfortune F M the other member surviving member of the duo is still pursuing music , but it has been a long and arduous road for him and he still has not been able to make a comeback.
As this new week approaches I am once again bogged down in money shifting , paying back loans and trying to keep up with the bills . I am not feeling good about my new association with TB plc the non commission environment and no real collective focus from the company in general to be creative and aware of sales projection and client sales management has meant no added bonus hours to my paychecks I have now the very difficult job of paying all my normal commitments for living such as rent ,.utilities Insurance etc on nearly half of what I used to take home before I went to BNY , plus the general trepidation in spending from the clients has prompted all retailers to break sale early. For me sale means that I am working twice as hard for half the amount. The last straw is finding out that I will work on Xmas day I love this day off more than any other and would gladly swap another day for my most favorite day, however this is not possible. Why am I making such bad job moves? I am continuing to plummet deeper into debt every day.Tomorrow I will start the week of with an Aikido class the one thing I am feelin focused and reconnected with, I wish that I could just practice this art all day long and not have to keep worrying about these bills and how I will make good to all of my Financial commitments
I must keep in Faith therefore not being in fear, I must believe in my Million Dollar goal and stay focused on this goal there for I will attract it into my life and I still must remain grateful and patient I am feeling tired now so I will rest when I become too tired I start to not believe I become doubtful as to my capabilities , this coming week will be challenging I will keep posting to let you know my progress.