not just about the money

Well its been about a week since my last entry,this week has been exhausting, exhilarating,stimulating and extremely interesting.After my drive to Red rock canyon I returned to las vegas and my house feeling different. I had seen a side of Las Vegas that I had not experienced before. I was humbled by the magnificence of the huge hills and valleys and the surroundings of the canyon.I want to run the 15 mile loop, it will be excellent for me as it has so much elevation .
A perfect pre marathon run. Sometime this month I will do the run.My pursuit of the million dollars has continued but as I gain more opportunities for achieving this goal my emphasis has and focus has changed or rather it has evolved into a different thinking.My spiritual and physical growth has become more and more important to me.I have started to learn again .I realized in the past two weeks that I have not learned anything new for the past few years. I have had a successful career in music I have achieved some great recognition as a bass player but in the past few years I have been in a plateau of living in the past. My past achievements were fueling my present and in living with my past successes I had stayed stagnant and had not stretched my mind by learning new things. For instance ,I have been playing bass for over 30 years and still do not sight read , I have practiced Aikido for over 10 years and still have not tested for my black belt ,I have lived with Lisa for 8 years and do not speak even basic Italian. My focus or rather non focus has been going out and being social ,being a legendary figure of the past A knight of the round table of the poor and infamous , other people have kept alive this surreal me who lives on past deeds and success's .Feeding my ego and enabling me to be a legend in my own mind.Of course drinking and using drugs did not help me to clearly see myself and my life in the present there was not enough clarity for me to gain a full focus for my future. I addressed my drug and alcohol using and cut that behaviour out of my life with the help of the NA fellowship . Because of the intense and revealing self realizations of the program ironically my mind opened up to reading and learning , my desire to succeed has increased and I believe in my abilities again .It is apparent to me that all aspects of self can be looked at and changed. my quest to take financial control of my life and be independently wealthy must combine all parts of self. The mental , physical , and spiritual foundation that will allow the focus ,discipline and serenity for when I receive the Million Dollars. This will be key to me feeling good and staying balanced within that situation .So now I know that being wealthy is about my state of being and not just about the money.