giving thanks

Today is thanksgiving, an American holiday where people get together with their families and friends cook turkey and enjoy being together, it feels to me because I am from England almost like Xmas day with out the Xmas tree. What can I be thankful for today? well I woke up today that's a good start even though I still have a severe headache that has been with me since yesterday morning this will be my third day off work yesterday I had some work done on my foot due to my running a corn had formed under my foot it felt like walking on a pebble very painful its amazing how a tiny area of hard skin can translate to such a painful experience. What else can I be thankful for? my dog Rudy who is licking my elbow as I type this journal the cool rainy day outside, my girlfriend Lisa still sleeping and all my family and friends .I thank god that I am not in Mumbai under seige from militants who are holding hostage and killing who ever they wish to.There are many families that are so worried and in fear of their loved ones being hurt or killed it makes my fear of getting my power shut off this weekend almost ridiculous. I pray for an end to this latest conflict and hope that it can be resolved quickly. As I look at my quest and read through the entry's a clear pattern is emerging. every three weeks or so I fall into a crippling and listless depression I am able to face my days with great vigour and resolve appreciating everything that I have and believing in my future wealth and then suddenly I am stopped in mid stride I become negative and cynical I look at my past with regret and hopelessness every successful person that I see or read about seems as if they have what it takes and that I don't ,the more I hear what to do from these great teachers the more I don't believe that I can do it I have not sorted my bills as I said in the last entry and I now face this new bill that is past due termination of this service will be devastating and so I must and will find a way I will probably have to pawn my guitar again and hope that I can cover the cost of having my power on ,my dream of running the marathon next week Sunday seems in serious jeopardy the registration needs to be in by Dec 2nd and I don't get my next check till Dec 5th. If you have been reading or following this blog you must now surely see why I need to achieve my Million dollar goal.Life will always present its self with financial challenges and also challenges that are nothing to do with money but having financial independence will allow me to find Peace in this area of our modern life. It will allow me to wake up not feeling that I have let down a friend who went above and beyond to help me pay my rent last month It will allow me not to go toThanks giving dinner empty handed. It will allow me to send my son something for his birthday next year
It will allow me the great pleasure of running the marathon next week, it will take allow me to take this weight of debt from my shoulders, the list goes on and on. Today I will give thanks for my day off from work and my friend and artist Bryan C for welcoming us to his house for Thanks giving I will enjoy today by being thankful and living this day like it is my last with gratitude and understanding .God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.