Day 16 "Giving More "

Sunday 11.25a. No day off today I will do the closing shift at JV store. I just got back from a run just one mile, it was my first run since I sprained my ankle it felt good to be back in my meditation its still very hot out and apart from some die hard soft ball players and a drunk man sitting on a park bench shouting on his cell phone while downing another beer I had the feild to myself . As I run I contemplated something that motivational pastor Joel O was saying in this mornings worship, when you plant a seed by giving or helping someone else you might be suprised at what treasures may be thee for you at a later date. The reason for why this blog was created is for giving to others who want to be inspired ,the opportunity to follow my progress to becoming a Millionaire, and as I write I begin to realise why my life has on one end become confusing frustrating and on the other end insipiring and full of hope.If it was that easy to go from broke to Millionaire I would already be there. I have read some articles of rapid rags to riches for certain individuals and my hats are of to them but for me its been difficult to connect fast enough to the wealthy life obviously my journey is my journey I believe that I m still not quite ready to receive because there is still some things for me to figure out about who I am and who I must become to acquire this new life style that I long for so much. I do know that as I move toward my wealthy future I can help a lot of people along the way today I will find the business plan template I have and give a copy of it to a fellow associate at work I call him" Ice Cream Man "
we have been talking about the follie of working for a living and he showed me a great idea for the Las Vegas tourist market I want to help him to follow through with his dream. I have no money but I can do so much that doesn't cost me a cent just giving more makes my life worth more helping others helps me, it keeps my mind from becoming clogged with what I don't have and allows me to realise that I actually have abundance. Passing on knowledge is one of the most satisfying things we can do seeing that knowledge used by someone to better them selves is a great reward. This week I must bring back a sence of urgency to my YNL monthly goal my Internet is still totally screwed but despite the virus which by the way is still on this computer I have found a way to get to my basic needs checking my emails and continuing this blog.Day 17 will be that start of a new and challenging week but I will plan do and enjoy whats coming as muchas I can by giving more.

Day 14 Facing The Giant

12.15am Friday morning day 14, Well I did have reservations about my Internet being disconnected but I did not foresee the frustrating last seven days of computer hell. Some how my computer got infected by a very mean and malicious virus I have not been able to get my Internet explorer to connect ,I have spent countless hours in this past week trying to even get to this point so that I can keep everyone posted about my progress ,needless to say my internal frustration with computer and lack of finances did totally consume all my strength, positivity and forward movement over these past days ,Sunday and Monday got me so frustrated that it brought tears to my eyes as I thought of my circumstances I felt useless, not worthy and worn out, I just simply decided to let it all come out.I cried in desperation over my penniless life ,the electric about to be cut off the next day with still no solution for getting the money I collapsed into a blubbering pitifall shell of a person, spirit drained I tried to sleep it off but Lisa decided that she despite her depressive mood would make a scathing comment that in all other circumstances I would have been easily able to handle but not this day. I screamed at her and isolated myself to the patio I closed the door. It was hot out here I could hear Rudy scratching on the door but I left him inside This was going to be my time now. As I half slept half smoldered the thick heat surrounding my body I began to calm down, I realised the ultimate answer. I am not going to be rescued by any one there is no alcohol or drugs to lean on in my life as I did in the past I realised that I don't even have the luxury to languish in my own self pity for any length of time anymore it was already 5.00pm and with the next day rapidly approaching i needed to make sure that I could pay the electric bill or we would be in serious trouble I was facing the Giant inside me, my realisation was the sling shot that woke up my sleeping Giant I went into the apartment with new energy I made my preworkout drink and did my chest and triceps exercise jumped in the shower grabbed my guitar and headed out to the pawn shop another one hundred dollar loan and putting my guitar in pawn gave me enough to pay the electricity bill and $10.00 left over for gas until today. Tuesday morning I went to work feeling grateful for what I have, as I entered work My Angel associate who had lent me $1000 to pay my rent told me that she did not want the money back, she explained that she was a Christian and when Christians give a loan it is a gift and should not Be expected to be given back Of course I will pay her but she relieved me of the pressure of returning it in very near future what a wonderful start my day being grateful really gives great unexpected rewards, later on she gave me $10.00 voucher that was going to expire that day I played the high limit slot and bet max I won $15.00 and walked away, that day ended with me going home with money for the rest of the week gas and a warm and peaceful heart.
The gentle giant slept with me and carried on into the week with the examples of my friends charitable spirit I am going to make a list of all people who were especially good to me in this time, in this beginning of my financial freedom I will repay each one of them at a time that they do not expect and I will enjoy what it feel s like to see a persons relief from some financial burden.The bottom line is this.It is not only the skill of budgeting ,the art of planning ,the knowledge of how money works, it is finding waking up and slingshotting the giant deep inside our selves that carries us to our destiny so look up and walk tall into our future.

Day Four

11.55am Slow start to the month, my to do list keeps growing and not getting done there has been some progress but the hours I spend at the day job are exhausting me, my energy is still there but my super focus is not. I must not be too hard on my self but at the same time only I can push and motivate me in this endevour .As time passes I wonder how much more could I have done or received as a direct result of more focus.It looks as if this is the area of improvement for the rest of this week and the coming weeks of this month. On to day four, at least I am keeping this blog going, start Work at 1.00p today finished at 9.30p I hope that I can keep some reserve energy for YNL tonight I am determined to make my to do list shrink .Tommorow I have a business brainstorming meeting with Joseph N we will check on each others progress for this week so far and I want to make sure that I have been as productive as possible .Must get ready for work now ,Oh by the way I am feeling really grateful and happy to have this opportunity for change ,I love all things in my life even the uncomfortable things these things let me know that I must push on through any circumstance but I do have the most perfect circumstance, another day on earth.

Day three

2.00am morning of day four doing recap of day three. Just came in from walking my dog Rudy he has a new toy a camouflage turtle shaped squeaky thing that he loves and keeps bringing to me so that he can pull it from me while I hold it, his most favorite play pass time, not bad, hours and hours of doggy fun for $1.00.well its been a very nice and productive day for me and as promised I am keeping you informed of my progress .After a nice Sunday off, today was spent taking care of things not yet completed on my YNL to do list, as I enjoyed my day Sunday I felt the pressing urgency of the to do list I alone am responsible for maintaining the momentum of the list and I kept thinking about it.There was no Aikido class for me this morning, had to make early calls to utility companies and do some shifting of money that was left in account to pay for some essentials ,yes I am still under the gun with my debt but I decided that I will make Sunday the day that I relax and recuperate provided I have it off that is. Way back in this blog I said that YNL would function as the stock exchange does from Monday to Friday of course there will be oppurtunity to do some business on Saturdays and Sunday but my super focus month is not going to drive me crazy ,in fact I want it to be fun hard work so that I don't sabotage my self psychologically by becoming too isolated and one dimensional, this month it is very important for me to recognise all aspects of my blessed life such as family, friends day contract Job and my ability to affect change through a well planned and followed to do list .So I now have all classified ads that I collected by paper clippings sorted and written down to call in these next few days after this recap I am going to read completely a wholesale pdf that I have downloaded it is 37 pages and I will complete that before going to sleep. Tomorrow is here already and now I feel involved in my quest I feel optimistic and full of energy .

Day Two

11.45a Sunday, Good morning Day one of August was filled with activity from 8.30am until 5.00am of day two.It was my intention to start in earnest with my already planned to do list I did map it out before sleeping on Friday but after waking at 8.15am my Son Louis called from London he is 29 years old and living his life to the best of his ability, he is doing 2 jobs and about to move into a less expensive4 apartment so that he can save some of his hard earned money. We talked for about 2 hours about many things but the most important thing was about our future and how money or lack of it is able to restrict just about everything that we could plan together .So it all came back to the most important focus for me this month of August , to launch my Investment business and gain the financial choices and independance of being weathy. Today is my day off it is Sunday and you know how I love being off on Sunday, today I can make major progress on my YNL to do list, after speaking with my son I had to prepare for my work shift at JV but before that I payed the rent .What a fantastic moment, as I proudly signed the money orders my manager told me that Two tenants had just last week lost their jobs. I know the anxiety that they are feeling now I hope that they will have the good fortune to keep their homes , the struggle continues for the poor always at the mercy of their job more motivation, reminders for me that I am doing the right and needed thing for my life. Tommorow I will start my day with Aikido class I have not been able to go for some time now almost 2 months due to work timing and lack of money for getting there ,but this is my super month and I must use every positive aspect of my life to create a truly fruitful next 30 days .Day three will be here before I know it unless I maximize today. After my work shift finished yesterday Lisa and I met with some body builder Friends of ours and we went to our others friends Italian restaurant for a wonderful meal and as I eat and talked with my Girl my good freinds in the restaurants climate controlled atrium I could here the water feature behind me at the spot where I have coffee some mornings I realized that I was having a wonderful day and that my future is bright that my time is not coming, but right now that all I think and want is in my mind and if I look at the best parts of what I have a wonderful feeling of satisfaction comes over me I have a wonderful life full of challenges that keep making me stronger and maybe it is not the outcome that is most important but the moment by moment experience that is the all .

Leap of Faith

3.50am saturday. I just got home from doing a grocery trip to W-Mart I long day was the last day of July 2009. a bitter sweet ending to the month and a new beginning for me.Today was the turning point in my life I was not able to contain my frustration about my job any longer I could not hide the way I was feeling and everyone noticed my disconnection from the retail day, it took me hours to get back my feeling to engage customers or even have a positive word to say to my college's its not their fault I am in this predicament I and I alone must face up to and find the answer for my future. The bitter taste in my mouth was the sour drink of reality NOT ENOUGH MONEY TO COVER MY EVER GROWING COMMITMENTS once again I must face my own insanity, this job just like all the others is just not for me any more I have had enough giving 300 percent to receive Five percent one month later.Timing is everything and now I must do the leap of faith that I have been setting up since long before this blog but definitely this is what this journal is all about.There are 3 months left before my dead line to become a Millionaire and my destiny has stood up and slapped my whole being into the absolute state of mind .IN the next 90 days there will be revealed the key to the formula for my success, you shall witness it and all who know and observe me will understand how much the will to succeed and the why to succeed can propel any individual into realizing their dreams it has taken 6 months in the new job to be able to have rent for the first day of the month this is officially the first month where I pay the full $1015 on time. The first day of August I will taste the sweet nectar of the fruits of my labor ,however many people and institutions will be more upset with me because I cannot possibly pay them as promised. As yesterday progressed with the help of two people in particular at work I loosened up and was able to finish in 3rd position in daily sales not bad for starting at 3/4 way through my shift.before I sleep tonight I will map out and organize the day ahead as Ihave learned because THIS IS IT the moment has arrived I have 90 days to become a Millionaire and I will succeed who will take my hand and go to the edge of destiny and take the leap of Faith.