the greatest gift of all

Its Christmas eve and I have just finished putting up our Xmas tree. As I wrapped the coloured lights and silver tinsel around the tree I started crying, my emotions in a turmoil I went into the garage and looked at the desk sized planner I use for organizing my bills .The power bill is due $82.00 a pre arranged amount I had calculated to pay with my bank account but unfortunately there is no more money available . I took the last money I had in the house and payed the bill came home and looked at my symbol of Christmas, the tree with its bright lights and glitter my tearful eyes sore my spirit in disarray it was time to post this message. Christmas almost didn't come for me this year. neither myself or Lisa could bring ourselves to even put up decorations or the tree .Yesterday morning I woke early and went once again to a Loan company and as the day went on and the money got spent I became frustrated once again my frustration turned to anger and I became aware that I was once again being and acting Ungrateful. At midnight I went to a meeting at the fellowship where I explained my day and my behaviour returning home peaceful until this morning when I put up our tree .I have no money after paying $165.00 for my car insurance this morning and taking care of the power bill. Putting up our Christmas tree took me back to my childhood I remember getting so excited about Christmas and Santa clause coming to give me presents it was almost unbearable .I would stay awake all night until eventually I had to sleep but I would wake very quickly and check to see If Santa had left me anything, my mother ( Santa ) would put my toys In a big pillow and leave it at the bottom of my bed. How wonderful is the memory, I wish to this day that Santa Clause really existed, but alas we must grow and realise the truth that Christmas is a time of spending, gifting and being generous in the name of Jesus Christ being born.I was raised in the christian religion and for Christians the 25th of December is the most blessed day.This Christmas I have been given the greatest gift of all , the ability to feel my emotions the chance of a new day the focus of a clean and clear mind the joy of others and their blessings and the understanding that to remain grateful is the biggest and most wonderful thing that we as humans can do to connect ourselves to our higher power the creator of the universe .